How Did This Happen?

How did this happen? How did he win? What is wrong with us? What are we so missing that we had to collectively vote this way?

How am I going to cope? How am I going to keep on moving towards the life I want and the good mental health I need in the middle of this?

I need hugs from the people I know are sad with me. If I had time, I’d go on a hugging tour. I’d drive around giving and getting hugs from the people I love. The people that fight for and with me. The people that stood with me in protest before my state voted to protect abortion, the people that cried with me, the people that have saved me from fire, the people that remind me I’m beautiful and courageous. It’s overwhelmingly beautiful to remember that those are the kind of people I have in my life.

I have to go to work today with a crew who thinks and votes differently from me. In many ways, they look out for me. I’ve learned so much from them. It’s a beautiful thing, and I’m grateful for them. But today won’t be easy. I’ll have to look for the other things that are beautiful, like whatever show the clouds in the sky bring us today. I’ll let my mind wander to the beautiful things in life, shaded by the news of today. My children are still kick-ass humans. My ex-wife is still a wonderful co-parent. My polycule is still fun and loving. There are still adventures to be had. There is still more love in this world for me to give and receive.

I am the only person in this world that I can control. In theory. I still feel tossed about in the wind and subject to the pressures all around me. But you get the point. That’s all I have and I’ll be remembering that today (and forgetting too).